Thursday, August 29, 2013

Porn, Pedophiles & Small Town Prudes



I live near a small town. It has a quaint, gentile look about it. Many of the buildings pre-date the Civil War, we often have Victorian festivals and such to celebrate the rich history of our fair city that once served as a temporary capitol of Virginia back in 1781 while our delegates were busy running from Richmond to avoid being captured by those pesky British. Staunton isn’t a bad place. It’s a glimpse into the past sitting in the heart of the Shenandoah Valley.
It’s also located right on the middle of the major east coast drug corridors and is home to some of the nation’s warmest and most cuddly gangs. Bloods, Crips, MS-13, Latin Kings, you want ‘em, we’ve got ‘em. They even teach the kids here in our quiet little country schools how to recognize the gang signs so they know where to stay away from.
Ahh, that sweet dichotomy of the past and the present. I was thinking of that yesterday when I was glancing through our local paper. Yes, we actually had a physical copy of the paper here! Isn’t that wild!
The headline story was about a local man, a former cop and ‘resource officer’ at  an area school no less, who had been popped in a sting operation. Officer A Little Too Friendly thought he was chatting and getting ready to meet up with a 14 year old girl. You can guess what happened when he pulled up to the house.
It’s a running joke in the area here that you can open the paper and find the pedophile of the week. Lately it seems like it’s been the pedophile of the day. Yesterday I counted stories about two.
So what gives? I did a little research. The ratio of sex offenders to residents in Staunton is 257 to 1. Let that sink in. Now I wasn’t going to spend all day Googling this, but I was able to find that nationwide there are nearly 500,000 registered sex offenders. The population of Staunton is only 25,000.
What the hell? Do we just breed them here? Do they grow wild?
I know this is a repressed place to live. Some would call it morally upright but let’s be real. Again, in a town of 25,000, we have ONE club that stays open until two in the morning on weekends.
How do we manage that? Simple. The club is in the basement of a landmark local building. If the city tries to shut him down, the entire building goes dark. It’s a mutual understanding.
We even had *gasp* an adult video and novelty store here once. Can you believe such a thing? The city couldn’t stop it as there wasn’t a ‘no porn’ provision in the city ordinances. But that didn’t stop undercover detectives from performing ‘surveillance’ and surreptitiously purchasing several products. What a hard day at the office that must have been.
Less than a month after opening, the owner was indicted on eight felony and four misdemeanor counts of selling obscene materials. To be thorough, the jury watched three hours’ worth of the movies Sugar Britches and City Girls Extreme Gangbangs.
Six of the seven jurors were over 50. Six of the seven jurors were regular churchgoers.
In the end, the owner was found guilty on one charge for one of the DVDs, Sugar Britches, and fined a total of $2500.
What’s the moral to this story? Are people who live in a town with its values trapped in the 1950s more likely to go online and attempt to diddle cops pretending to be teenage girls? That one I can’t answer.
If you want your porn in Staunton you can go online, drive to a neighboring town or just hit the video store on the hill less than half a mile outside the town limits. The back room is to the left.
Some things about people I don’t understand. The desire to play with little kids is one. The need to press your morals and beliefs on others is another.
By the way if you’re interested in a blow by blow, graphic breakdown of the Staunton porn trial here’s a link that will give it to you nice and slow, maintaining eye contact the whole time: http://www.readthehook.com/82555/cover-obscene-sort-staunton-porn-trial-bizarre-start-finish

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